Try Saying 'No'

The practice
Many of us have a hard time saying no, especially to people who are asking for help. For some of us, “no” is culturally unacceptable. So we say yes and resent it. This week, when you don’t want to do something, try saying no and see how it makes you feel. What stops you? How do you feel about yourself when you don’t say no? How do you feel when you do?

The theory
When you can’t say no, you end up resentful and grudging. Or exhausted. This practice is about finding balance between our own needs and everyone else’s.

You don’t have to be unpleasant about it. Try these various degrees of softening:
“Tonight I can’t. I have things I need to take care of.”
“It’s so nice of you to ask, but I don’t really feel like going out tonight.”
“I’m sorry, but no.”
“You know, that’s not really my thing.”

The result
When you can say no when you need to, you can say yes with more authenticity. Other people start to trust you more, because they know that when you say yes, you mean it. And you start to craft a life that better suits what you really want, and who you really are.